A Letter To Unhealthy Food

Dear Unhealthy Food,

You are a master of disguise, I admit, but you no longer fool me. I see your thinly veiled face for what it is. The Face of a liar. You pray upon emotions with deception and empty promises and it’s time you are exposed.

4th of July 2004, you promised me that simple indulgences were not only my right, but were necessary for my enjoyment. You made me believe that because I’m young and because I will only live once, that turning to you against my better judgment would single-handedly enhance my experience. You lied. I had one of the best Holidays that year, but it was in spite of you, not because of you. The warm summer Sun, the joy of friends and family, and nighttime fireworks fit for a king are what made that day so incredibly special. Yet, you tried to take all the credit. In fact, your only contribution was that uncomfortable feeling in my belly and lack of sound sleep.

In 2008, when life had dealt me a poor hand, you promised me comfort. I looked to you for support, yet all that you provided were feelings of guilt, depression, and a salt-induced coma. You were to be my crutch, by your own admission, yet you simply weighed me down. I let you take over for too long, to the point where I could no longer look at myself in the mirror. In the end, it took my resolve, my inner strength, and my loving support network to overcome that poor hand, you were nothing more than a roadblock.

In 2013, at a retirement party, I watched you spread through the crowd like wildfire, lighting up faces with your delicious lies. Our guest of honor wept as she basked in the love of coworkers, bosses, friends, family, and children. It was special because of the moment. Yet, you are so powerful that all of the negative feelings, both emotional and physical, that came later as a direct result of your actions were completely overlooked. There is genius to your execution, forcing good people to blame their own lack of will and self-respect rather than the true source. You!

You are a wicked, wicked One, but your day of reckoning is upon us. People are learning that your promises are empty, and that life’s true enjoyment and comfort doesn’t come from your salty bags and sweet boxes, but from the very things that make us human. Love and connection. Your days are numbered, unhealthy food, relish the little time that you have left.